The failure to listen when someone comes with a problem or complaint.
Discipline yourself
to listen. Prov. 18:13
Do not interrupt the
person before he has finished. Let him
share all that is in his heart. People,
need to "drain" themselves of what's on their mind and in their
heart. If you interrupt him before he
finishes communicating his ideas, his mind will still be on his own issues and
he will not hear or be able to listen to you.
It is easy to
formulate answers before you listen to the question or the complaint. But even
if you have revelation, even if you already understand, it is still important
not to interrupt before the person has spoken all he needs to say.
To speak before a
person has finished is to risk being guilty of presumption, error, misjudgment
and condemnation.
Usually people do
not go directly or immediately to the heart of the matter. They start at the
periphery and work their way the root issue. Therefore, if you answer too
quickly, you are only dealing with peripheral aspects of the issue.
People become very
frustrated if they feel you have not heard them or if you have not given them
opportunity to share their heart.
When a leader speaks
too quickly and forms a judgment without listening adequately, the person approaching
him may become intimidated and close up.
He will become frustrated and withdraw feeling that he cannot talk. The person may "drop the charges" but
leave confused, questioning his own discernment, questioning what is
reality--but still with an inner sense that things are not really resolved.
Pastors should
listen because the person may have a valid criticism.
A Pastor should develop the ability to make
people feel comfortable and free to communicate. Learn to help people open up and share their heart.
Be quick to hear,
slow to speak. Do not let your first
response be to defend yourself or to attack the other.
After the person has
said everything he has to say, then a leader should evaluate and make a
response.
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